“… In 1976 we didn’t “boot computers,” we summoned them from the void using pure binary incantations….“
Retro Boot Rituals: Altair 8800 Boot Sequence, the Original Hardcore Mode — Before Floppy, There Were Switches
Ah yes, kids today complain when their Linux distro takes more than 8 seconds to boot from SSD. Back in 1976, we had a real thrill: staring at an Altair 8800 front panel like it was a divine oracle, hoping we didn’t flip the wrong switch and accidentally summon Cthulhu instead of Microsoft BASIC.
So, how did you actually boot BASIC on this beast? Spoiler: there was no BIOS, no bootloader, and definitely no “Press F12 for boot menu.” The Altair didn’t even know what a keyboard was. It was just a glorified box of blinking lights until you taught it some manners.
Step one: hand-feed it a loader program via the front panel switches. Yes, you literally had to toggle binary instructions one bit at a time, like some masochistic Morse code operator. Each flip of the switch was a silent prayer that your sweaty fingers didn’t misplace a single 1. This is what “user friendly” meant in the 70s.
Step two: run that loader, which would obediently suck in data from your state-of-the-art paper tape reader. That’s right, kids: before USB sticks, or even before floppy disk, we had long strips of holey toilet paper. If you sneezed too hard, your “storage device” went fluttering across the room like a confetti cannon.
Step three: wait for Microsoft BASIC (yes, the OG Microsoft product, back when Bill Gates was just a nerdy college dropout and not the final boss of Clippy) to slither its way into RAM. With enough patience, blinking lights, and possibly a stiff drink, you’d finally be rewarded with the legendary prompt:
MEMORY SIZE?
At that point, you could actually type something instead of flipping switches like a deranged safecracker. “10 PRINT ‘HELLO WORLD’” never felt so damn victorious.
Now, compare this glorious ritual with booting Linux from a floppy in the 90s. Sure, Linux is cool, penguins are cute, but sticking a disk in a beige box and pressing reset? Please. That’s child’s play. In 1976 we didn’t “boot computers,” we summoned them from the void using pure binary incantations.
So next time your ThinkPad takes too long to resume from suspend, pour one out for the Altair pioneers. They didn’t just boot BASIC—they earned it, one switch-flip at a time.